Sigmoidoscopy

When I turned forty my doctor recommended that I get a sigmoidoscopy. I scheduled an appointment and arrived at the doctor's office. With a sigmoidoscopy the patient is awake unlike the colonoscopy where you are knocked out for the procedure. I learned as I walked into the office that the nurse for my procedure would be my cousin Nancy. To make it easier to put the scope up your colon the nurse adds air to your colon. The doctor tells you that it is very uncomfortable and if you need to release gas - go for it. Well, it is bad enough that your cousin is the onlooker but to add the release of gas in front of others was difficult. On top of this was the doctor had a young doctor observing and learning and therefore the procedure lasted twice as long. Well, I held my gas and the procedure went well and at the end the doctor directed me to the bathroom which was right off of the area where he did the procedure. Inside the bathroom I was soon trumpeting loud explosions which shook the walls. Opening the door I looked up and there was the doctor and my cousin smiling at me. A perfect ending to my day.

Five years later I had to do the procedure again but with a different doctor. I had a preopt meeting with my new doctor but I met his partner instead. This procedure was to take place in the hospital and after signing in I had to go and get prepped. The nurse this time turned out to be one of the parents of a child in my school. My luck is still there. In my johnny I was put on my side and there was going to be a TV showing the procedure right above me. The doctor came in but I could not see him because I was positioned with my backside exposed and he quickly got busy. The video was a little strange but interesting. I expected some dark creature to show up at any moment. I mentioned to the doctor that I had never met him. He replied that if he saw me walking down the street and if I dropped my pants he could recognize me.

I have had two more procedures over the past 18 years but each of those were a colonoscopy and I was knocked out. Probably a good idea with my history.